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About Guardian Angels...

  • About Guardian Angels...

    In mid-May of 2002, I dealing with a deep depression. I was very lonely and suicidal. I was desperate to find and experience true love. I prayed earnestly for one of the few times in my life and I said, "God, if you are real, please help me."

    Suddenly, an angel appeared at the end of my bed. It was magnificent. It stood about 8-9' tall. It was dressed in a long white robe and it's shoulders were between 2-3' wide. I did not see wings, but I knew it was an angelic being. It looked as if it was made of some kind of mist or a substance similar to clouds and it was translucent. I could see it clearly, but I could also see through it and see the wall behind it. It was real- not imagined!- and it had somehow manifested in a tangible way.

    I don't know how long the angel was there. I only remember being on my bed, seeing the angel, and then being on my face in floor! I wasn't afraid, but I think I was overwhelmed! It was incredible! In addition to the physical experience with the angel, I also encountered God, began to receive great revelation about God, myself, and Truth...I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening that night.

    Shortly after I saw the angel, in an instant, my whole life passed before me and I saw events that had happened in my life almost like I was watching a movie being played at fast forward speed. Then, I felt as if I were at the judgment seat of God. There was a complete calmness, but I had started to grieve when I first saw the angel because in that moment, I realized that Jesus was real and that He really did suffer and die for me. By the time I felt like I was at the judgment seat, I knew I was not worthy of going or did not feel destined to go to heaven and, with the holiness of the situation, I did not even consider finding excuses for why I should go. Instead, I silently repented, acknowledging my guilt and feeling a great sorrow for the sins I had commited and for the harm that I had brought to others, mostly by being selfish and uncaring at times, but also for seeking so much I repented, I was surprisingly comforted by Lord, who spoke to my heart, telling me that He knew me better than I knew myself. He had seen me since I was born and He knew everything that had ever happened to me, even the things that I had forgotten...He understood why I had done the things I had done. He extended grace, forgiveness, and love and I somehow knew that from that moment, I would have to depend on Him to help me to do the right things and to make the right decisions. Any guilt that I felt was lifted, but in place of it was a strong conviction to do never justify doing the wrong things again. I had a powerful revelation about my parents, who I had always resented---my father had died when I was young and I'd had a difficult relationship with my mother because she was often angry, bitter, and disgruntled. I forgave both of them for any harm I felt they had brought to me, understanding that they really did their best--they meant no harm to me. Soon, I was filled with joy! I even realized that these earthly parents I had were not really my creators. God had created me and He given me life. He had even created with a purpose and I knew it was important to discover what this purpose was. I understood that He was my heavenly Father and that He loved me! I was set free from many oppressions, deceptions, and the spiritual darkness that had covered me my whole life.

    I had always read the Bible, but I had used it more as self-help material. I would simply ignore things I didn't like or didn't agree with. But that night, the scriptures came alive to me. It is difficult to explain, but it literally appeared as if some Bible verses were bursting off the page at times and I understood some of the writings, like the parables, that I had never been able to understand before! It was a very exciting and notable.

    As far as "faith" was concerned, if someone had asked me about my faith, I would have considered it more of an identification, like which religion I was part of (I grew up attending a Methodist church, btw). As far as relationship with God, I thought we were supposed to believe in God, even though we can't see Him, and just wait until we die and see him in heaven. That night changed my perspective on many things, especially faith. I have learned that we must learn to walk by faith, according to the leading of God- whether is be by following the written word or, at times, following something that has been directly revealed to us from God during prayer. My ideas about having a relationship with God changed from waiting until I die to know Him to I can't live a day without Him!
    I found three specific verses that night and "prayed" for God to make them come to pass in my life:

    My Commitment:
    "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

    His Promise:
    I prayed for wisdom- "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:5

    I also asked for the gift of prophesy- “Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy.” 1 Corinthians 14:1 (which I only related to as being "psychic" at the time- I have learned much more about the actual gift of prophesy since then!)

    Concerning my prayer- my desire for true love- I experienced peace beyond understanding because I knew that God already knew what was going to happen in the future. I did not have to worry because I could trust Him to help and to lead and guide me. These were unknown concepts to me until that night! Obviously, it was the beginning of a great transformation in my life! I would never be the same after that and I continue, even years later, to change and adapt as needed. Most importantly, I am still learning about true love everyday.

    Since then, I have seen other angels and I have also sensed their presence and just known when they were around. I have also seen demons...not so great, but I know that both spiritual beings are real and they intend to impact people on a daily basis. Some people talk about alternate realities and parallel universes, which I don't believe.  I believe there are different dimensions in the sense that there is a natural realm and the spiritual realm ("time" is a different issue altogether, but I won't get into that right now!!!) 

    I have never and will never pray TO an angel. They are simply messengers of God. Don't get me wrong- they are powerful also and battle in the spirit realm where good and evil collide. The point is, I do not seek or worship angels- I seek and worship only God.

    I am grateful that God allowed me to have the experience and hundreds of other spiritual experiences since that first encounter but, as you can imagine, I will never forget the FIRST time I saw an angel! 

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